the biggest hurdle

So I've been dealing with a major issue at home lately, that being I don't want to be home. I've also come to the realization that I am a hypochondriac. Like a headache = a brain tumor and a weird feeling in my leg = impending stroke. Yes, that's how bad I am, so in hind sight not going with premed was probably one of the best decisions I have made. I am suffering from like this really weird sinus headache I'm guessing cause the cold pills are doing the trick.

The mind is a fickle thing.

Yea I know random, but hear me out.

Our brains are one of the most difficult parts of the human body one could dissect and completely understand. I mean think about how much is stored into our minds. Think of how your brain holds every single embarrassing, delightful, and fearful thought you've ever had. Yet no matter how unique our thoughts are, we all have the same brain. Sometimes our brains make us think we are invincible only to show us, in some fashion, it can be our master. See, lately I've been dealing with issues I haven't dealt with since I was younger (hypochondria for example). It's weird because I thought I had gotten all over that. Then there's the passing of my grandmother last month (it was a month two days ago).

I barely showed any outward emotion, if anything I just bottled it up. Yet, ironically, two days ago, I realized the actual impact of her death. I've become so fearful of the future because I know I'll be getting older. I'm scared of everything that getting older does to you, and her passing has really reinforced that fear. Also it's made me my hypochondria crazy strong. I'll save the rest of my emotions for a future scholarship essay though.

Also I need to get back into the routine of things and head back to new york.

my sister is a cunt.

also musical recommendation time! i'm going to introduce you guys to Ke$ha (who I just recently learned is pronounced Keh-sha like Ketchup).

She's RCA's next muse and is showing all indications of blowing up when her single hits the radio. (It kind of reminds me of Lady Gaga before she blew up actually). You actually might have already heard her (she was the female voice in Flo Rida's "Right Round"). Ke$ha is a sassy girl (think Uffie) who sings abouts partying, partying, and oh more partying. It's all so much fun though, and I'm sure she'll end up being a guilty pleasure. So just so you guys stay ahead of the curve he's a couple of songs by her! till next time!