right under my nose

(circa 1960)
Reading, Pennsylvania. This is my current hometown, and you can say I am not so fond of it. I mean leaving the big city was a relief to a 13 yr old but after truly experiencing it does not compare. I do believe, though, that amidst all the issues the city has (drugs, violence) it is a hot bed of future leaders, artists, and innovators; if the tools are presented to them (like they did to me). This has been confirmed today when I found out one of my favorite artists was born here and raised in Berks County! This is none other than:

I find this man extraordinary for so many reasons. The selfish, stereotypical, narcissistic, and frankly gay part of me loves him for the lifestyle he lived in the '80s. He lived the quintessential New York scene, before the New York scene came to its modern day definition. On a much bigger level though he did what a lot of people take for granted sometimes. He used art to channel his feelings, he used it to materialize his thoughts. He also did this in a simple manner. Simplicity is all he used to deliver very powerful messages to the public. Powerful political, social, and personal messages. His art made loud statements on issues like apartheid, AIDS, and the crack outbreak in the US. His art also embodied the culture that has manifested in our community within the last couple of decades. It was also this commercial greed that ultimately contributed to his death. He died in 1990 of HIV, thanks to the long-term government ignorance of the issue.

All the above artwork was created after his diagnosis and a clear example of why I admire this man so much. He strives for something greater than what we all were.

I sadly can't find anyone high profile of doing a similar job or trying to raise such awareness. Maybe we're too buried in our own selfishness to realize the bigger issues, but it's about time we opened our eyes. This man did and by doing so he was part of a collective and influential group, one that raised much needed awareness and kick started a movement. My hats off to you Keith. Without visionaries like you, I don't know where our world would be.

I'm finally going to leave you guys with one of my favorite sights in NYC. I saw this every time I hopped onto my bus to go back home last semester and it never failed to brighten my day. It's a commemorative mural to the man himself, marking his would be 50th birthday.

xoxo

the english channel must be filled with diamonds/gold/rubies etc.

so after months of hearing about her i saw little boot's video of "new in town" last night and i'm hooked.



her album preview sounds incredible and I can't wait to hear it! another brit i absolutely love (and knew about before perez whored him out)



FRANK! godddd i love him! and yes in case you didn't know i'm a huge power pop/synth pop/electro pop music fan! with that one more video from la roux, who are pretty hot in the UK right now



i usually don't like giving out my music like that so feel priviliged. and also just to throw out my britney shouout. can't wait for the "radar" video, its the first time in seven years she's releasing a music video for a fourth single!

till next time

xoxo

sweet dreams

ohh what i'd give to find that person. the CA ruling today was sad and really just annoying. i hope ny does the right thing and go for the marriage bill. i would love to see my home state be progressive and supportive. i mean it IS the northeast. how liberal (perfect) can you get? anyways it made me think about those "fantasy" men i would want to call mine, so lets go through a few shall we?

i think the next one takes the cake though.

xoxo

bang bang

hey sorry for neglecting the space for a bit, kinda slow in life right. anyways i have some good news! I will be in NYC on the 20th of June for a couple of hours, i'm gonna be in the city until I have to get a cab to JFK at like 3am for my flight leaving to:












































the only bad thing is my flight leaves at like 6am but whatever more time to enjoy. also i plan on hopefully being with a couple of friends and drinking a bit so i can pass the fuck out on that plane ride haha. i'm heading to san francisco with my favorite british gay boy ever dave tester. i love that boy and i'm going to miss him dearly when he departs for good at the end of july. anyways i'm SO excited for this trip. i have nothing but fun with dave and good times are guaranteed. anyways, more good news. we get back at like 1am friday (these times severely suck) but i'll be in the city for the weekend, PRIDE weekend nonetheless. ahhhh! i'm so excited. not to mention it'll be Pride week in San Fran when I'm there so I'm just being a good homosexual this summer and enjoying the joy! more good news also! my parents have agreed to let me erlive in nyc for a month this summer! soooo four more weeks in nyc! im sooo excited you have no idea.

something else i'm excited about is occuring in about a year and it's STUDY ABROAD! now don't get me wrong, I LOVE nyc with all my heart but I have the opportunity to go abroad and I'm running with it. I cannot wait till I live in this city:




































































LONDONTOWN! AHHH! It's gonna be such a new experience and I know a couple of my girls will be there so it shall be a good time! also i have this whole new network of friends in the UK, thanks to Dave, so assimilating will not be hard (hopefully). After watching "Love Actually" though I wish I were in London in time for Christmas! It looks divine. Anyways that's it for now. I'm gonna head out and watch a sappy gay romantic movie or something like that. Hope you guy are having a safe holiday weekend!

xoxo

confusion boy

hi chickens and welcome to another installment of a beautiful mess. today i woke up to yet another dark day only to realize that the curtain on my window is extremely thick and blocks out any sunlight at all. so i need to tell mom to change that ASAP. i also woke up being mesmerized by frankmusik's new edit of "confusion girl". granted it was only 30 secs and extremely low quality but it's amazing! god i love him, he needs to cross the pond sometime soon. also did anyone catch "glee" last night? it was so good. what was even better were the songs! omg i've had "dont stop believing" and "rehab" on repeat since last night! THEY'RE SO GOOD! The show looks really promising also. Does anyone else also not give shit about American Idol?! I frankly do not care if someone in the top 2 was gay, and I don't care if he lost. It's not some secret vendetta against homos, people just liked the other guy better. get over it.

today is also another fail on my part with working out. i've been doing push-ups and over 100 crunches everyday but nothing beats the gym. i need to go to one soon. like now. so hopefully dad will pay for a month and i can get that out of the way. i mean it's gold's gym, it wont be that expensive. it also is like down the road. i need to stop being lazy also. i cannot be lazy, it doesn't work for me. i need to be DOING something you know? i had a random thought enter my head today, or more like random thoughts, but we'll narrow it down. men.

what's up with them? why do we put so much of our happiness on men? why can't we just be strong and independent and just get a man when the time is right? i'll tell you why. we want to feel loved or liked. i mean come on think about it. how long did we go through our lives feeling repressed and unloved? how long did we go about questioning the world around us and their acceptance with us? i mean all of this contributed with whatever experience a single person had, i believe, contributes to how much we have that need to be with someone. also it's nice. i mean hell who wouldn't want to have someone you could call and just talk to about everything (without annoying them i mean i know our friends love us but...). Who wouldn't want someone to wake up to every morning? Who wouldn't want to care about someone as much they do themselves? again really random thought but really i don't think it should be so looked down upon, the want to be with someone. i don't think one should feel guilty if they wanted to be with someone. it isn't something sinful to feel something that is simply natural. i think it's perfectly healthy to feel and want something that we all deserve. now the judging goes into psychotic means of obtaining this (no no no).

final note: i need some liquor, and some boys (to go out and party with). PA you're not steeping up to the plate. disappointed. anyways let me leave with some pics of men which i find beautiful but not in the way you'd think. until next time ciao

xoxo

P.S.: for the past couple of days i've been feeling like i didn't take the right path in my life, career wise, i guess i'll rant on that in my next blog post.

where art thou?

so i guess it'll be almost a week that i'm home (i know, i know) and i can safely say i am slowly turning into a fatass. i think all i do is eateateat. n'est pas bien (not sure if that's correct my french is a bit rusty). i woke up ate fruit loops, then ate i think a third of the wheat thins box, then dinner, then yogurt, then poptarts. UGH! wtf. this is coming from someone who right before finals went to the gym religiously. i have been planning to work out with a friend but that's not really working out. so im gonna go for a run tomorrow and hit up the golds thats nearby and see how much it'll cost for a month. aside from eating i've been very graphic oriented (no not in that sense). i've been macroing and photoshopping like it's my job (should it be though?). i think i'm coming up with pretty kickass stuff but im gonna change up my style soon, see where i can venture off to.
in other news, nothing haha. i have absolutely no social life here it's kinda depressing. i also think my body is going through some weird withdrawal from new york and i'm serious (seriously). i uncontrollably act up and go crazy and sometimes i act drunk. i guess that's cause i'm missing these like whoa:


yes i am missing these boys like WHOA WHOA. not as much as my nyc boys and girls who make the consummation of these worthwhile. so what have we discussed where art thou gym, social life, and liquor. spot on. SPOT FUCKING ON.

i guess the last bit i want to spew onto you guys is where art thou love life?! like seriously it's been a good 5 years, 5 years! (sorry i keep saying things twice) one of the things i'm am most pissed off about and sad about in leaving the city is that there was the START of something already happening. then i had to leave. blahblugbleurgh! good news with that is that its not dead...just stalled with this whole distance thing. i do wonder at times if he's alive though, like legit. is he? ahaha. this is just a random though process (no but is he really?) i do have to say though i think that during those 5 years i have been able to grow. i don't think without me learning lessons on my own and from people around me i could not have really matured. i feel like being single for such a long time has helped me know exactly what i want, and basically extract all the bullshit that goes into the whole gay scene. in others words, i know what i want and i really don't need anyone to sway me on those principles. i don't know if i'm making any sense since i'm getting all "catcher in the rye" with you guys (love that book). but yea i know what i want, i know what i like, and i need to get back to nyc and resume that pronto.

hmmm i guess the final thing is just a internship search for new york. i still need to discuss (more like tell) my parents that i want to move back early, but i think if i do something that'll help my career it would be very helpful and probably shut my parents up quicker. unfortunately christie's is all booked but i'm sending out resumes and cover letters to a couple perspective places. i guess i'll end on a musical note, cause you know how i loveeeee mi musica. i'm just gonna share, probably one of my favorite lyrics of all time (actually the name of this blog is the song's name). it's jason mraz' "a beautiful mess". ok more like a line and verse haha here goes:

And what a beautiful mess this/ it's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes/ and through timeless words and priceless pictures/ we'll fly like birds but not of this earth/ and tides they turn and hearts disfigure/ but that's no concern when we're wounded together/ and we tore our dresses and stained our shirts/ but it's nice today, oh, the wait was so worth it

ciao chickens!

xoxo

on a night like this

now some of you know i already have a blog going (dimmingstreetlights.tumblr.com), but lately i've decided that i need another outlet to let personal stuff go and to just rant. THE LORD KNOWS that I bottle up a lot of things up a lot o the time.....sooooo TADA! Wordpress is too much shit for me to figure out just so I can rant so here I am. I'm working on the layout but I got the header pretty done, so happy bout that! (cheeccckkk it!)

so first off, hey boys and girls! my name is eddie and i'm sure you'll come to love my very undefined and crazy mind. I assure you though the emo will be kept at a minimum and the happy will be at an all time high. just for you chickens. so currently i am addicted to kylie's "on a night like this" (hence the title, clever no?) it is summer vacation and I for one canNOT wait to get the hell out of here. soooo i guess here's rant number #1 (i promise it's pretty important so read on por favor):

if you're a good friend you pretty much know the disdain I have for this wretched state and my home life in general. so let's get real. i fucking hate it. surprising no? i've been trying to rationalize this for the past couple of days. rationalize why is it that i hate it so much, and i have FINALLY found my answer! (ding!) when i moved to new york i acquired this sense of freedom. i am able to be who i am without any restrictions. i think a lot of people around me take advantage of that because their situation is not as bleak as mine (mariah carey anyone?) but seriously. over all the friends i've met and had at nyu (my school in case you didn't know) i've noticed one thing. basically how open and liberal most of my friend's families are. they are so well accomadated with their sexuality. then there's me. my parents are pentecostal christians (crazy alert crazy alert). i just came out last year and even though they know, home is a sort of repression. as i talked to paddy (my ex big bro..oh yea im a frat boy woo!) i came up with probably one of the best things i've come up with all year. everytime i come home i am (ready?) thrown into a half-open closet (bing bang gone). why half open? well my mom and dad and sister know aside from that? no one does. so it's like HI family, oooo and you're asking me that awkward girlfriend question again (no i do not want to procreate with a vag especially 5 mothafucking kids). it's not just the petty girlfriend question it's everything. how on earth do you expect someone to just revoke their freedom consciously? you cannot! you CANNOT! so here i am at home suppressed in this shitty boring state with my never understanding family and it sucks. (now i promised emo at minimum but im kinda frustrated rain check?...also now i'm onto red blooded woman). there's a lot more i want to say but i'll save that for my point foundation application (;D) anyways now that i consciously know this i want to tell my nyc peeps eddie is making an EARLY return to the city. i really don't need to get an internship but it would be most helpful (i mean i have a job waiting basically). how early? i think i want to move back in july, the only problem would be housing and all but hopefully i get help in that department (please?). ok well that's the first post (eventful no?). let me shamelessly plug my graphic design work (dimmingstreetlights.tumblr.com). and i'll let you guys with a most EXQUISITE video of the lovely ms. kylie minogue (i push you and beg you to watch the "x" and "showgirl" tours and the "white diamond" documentary! BEG YOU!). eso es todo ciao chickens! (just double click the vids idk why it's acting like that)