negligence is a bad thing

sorry about the m.i.a. status. i've been so busy. frat initiation went smoothly and i'm happy to welcome our three new brothers. i have grown so much more in love with this organization over that last semester it makes me sad that i'm heading abroad next semester. i am still very excited. extremely excited actually. today i had a session with my counselor and i have seen how far i've come. it makes me ecstatic to know what point i am in my life. the future is one big question mark, one that doesn't seem so scary anymore. im not anxious about what is going to happen in the future, for the most part. therapy over the semester has helped tremendously. one of the funny topics that came up today were relationships. my counselor brought up a certain someone i kind of dated over the summer and i think for the first time, in a really long time, i was true to myself. i accepted the fact that i am 100% fully ready for a relationship and willingly wanting one. it's funny because i've been so opposed to the idea for such a long time, and the events of the summer made it temporarily harder for me to accept that.

now let's just work on me not being scared of making myself vulnerable for a goal that could be amazingly rewarding. this isn't the best written blog post, haha, but i guess it's just real in a sense. i do want a relationship and i do want to find a special person. it's been too long and i think i rightfully deserve a bit of pleasure after 5 years of trying to figure out who i am.

hopefully god will reward me with that pleasure sometime soon.

so in music news? new gaga, leona, and rihanna. verdict? All three are good for what they are. Gaga is showing the world that she is the next pop superstar and I love the album. I do think it can get a bit boring after a couple of plays. Leona's album is phenomenal. So many good songs and even a dance track thrown in. The winner though? Rihanna hands down. "The Fame Monster" is very good but it can get repetitive. Rihanna's album on the other hand is extremely unexpected and amazing. The songs are such growers but the emotion and production of the majority of the album is top notch. I fall in love with it more and more. "The Fame Monster" still gets a couple plays though so don't worry.

at the moment though i'll be falling asleep to the angelic voice of imogen heap and ellie goulding. night!