my love letter to new york

it is officially august 1st meaning
this is my last month of teenhood! yes in a month's time yours truly will be twenty years old!
weirdweirdweirdweird to say the least
onto different and bigger things i guess and with that let's recap my week at home shall we?

boring. my itch and need for the city grows intensely more and more each day. my love affair for the city is probably one of the most torturous things in my life. an enjoyable kind of torture though. it's torture in the way that i really cannot view any aspect of life without viewing it through the eyes of a boy who is in tune with the city. see a lot of people go to new york for different needs. whether it be for professional, artificial, or personal enrichment everyone is in the city for a specific reason. see i view new york in a kind of romantic way. for me its a place where mystery, intrigue, chaos, and love are all composed together and embedded into the backbones of steel and concrete. new york is not just a place, its an energy. every time i come back to the city and i see the skyline right before i enter the lincoln tunnel i know that i'm finally back home. i mean what more can you ask from a queens boy?!

aside from the city i'm excited to get back to my friends, work, my life basically.

not to mention i'm also really excited to finally get this thing started. i would've never thought i would've missed the smell of cigs and really good hair shampoo as much as I do. it's amazing how much the little things matter.

also here's my mid-year resolution:

“Oh, how I wish you wouldn’t worry so. There’s hope in every breath. But when fear infects the bones, I’m told, the heart is always next”

to stop worrying so damn much!

till next time.
xoxo

p.s. - i love franmusik's new album to death! best debut i've heard in a realllllyyyyy long time! props mate!

this song is too perfect for words

it's a glimpse into my thoughts. the lyrics are so spot on it's scary (except for the "love" part...that's getting ahead of ourselves). the confusion and the whole feeling of it is spot on.

had to post this

hahahahaha
xoxo

Time can mend, but it doesn't make you forget

by Nicolas Evariste

Hey chickens! I'm back in PA for the last leg of the summer and I'm excited for it to speed through. I have so much waiting for me in the city and I can't contain myself. Work, school, and perhaps something more. Actually a lot more. You see here at Beautiful Mess, love is more of a myth than anything. Lawd knows the trials I've been through thanks to "love". Thanks to that I've grown to be very much a cynic of it. This may all be changing soon. I've met someone who might just turn this heart warm again. Of course, I'm proceeding with caution (as is the person in question), but the progress thus far has been very, very enthralling

It's very refreshing to feel this part of life after burying it for so long. The only problem is that this new found intrigue is coupled with the fear of the past. A broken heart is one of the hardest things to mend. Once someone has opened up that much only to have it shattered in the end; well let's just say it needs to pried open for another go. Still I'm more than ready to do so. Also the feeling of being with someone is such a high. (Not to mention this person in question, is pretty damn amazing.


Anyways enough of that let's do a bit of music recommendations! This week we're gonna crossover pop with hip-hop a bit. Ladies and gentlemen I present to you Mr Hudson.

Mr Hudson is considered to be Kanye's project. The difference is he's more of a pop act. Only a couple of track have leaked online but they are very promising. From the hard hitting beats of "Straight No Chaser" to the airy yet heavy instrumental of "Supernova" Mr Hudson promises to have a couple of tricks up his sleeve. Plus it doesn't hurt to have Kanye on your side. So here's "Supernova" and "Straight No Chaser" for you guys and I'll leave you at that. Enjoy!

MR HUDSON [FEAT KANYE WEST] - SUPERNOVA from MrHudson on Vimeo.

xoxo

new era

wow, that's all i have to say about the last week, well not really. let's just say it's been an emotional rollercoaster at casa de lipe. things are getting back to normal though. the dog barks at every moving being, me and my sister's base are our bedrooms again, and mami is making jokes and laughing again. this week has taught me life is hard and to value life as a whole. so from now on i'm looking at life through different eyes. Now onto better postings:

So I saw the 6th installment of the Harry Potter saga and all I have to say is BRILLIANT! OMG, the best film in the series thus far! I love love loved a lot of it. It was so intense, the acting all around was really good, and can I say the best looking Potter film ever made?! Every shot was outstanding! The storyline was great and it stayed true to the book even with the deleted sections and added parts. It was my favorite film of the year thus far and I'm sure it'll stay there.

In more personal news, I am heading to New York tomorrow and staying till Thursday!!! I love the city so so so so so much and I can't wait to be back! One of the main reasons I'm going to New York is because I have a very important interview on Wednesday with ARTCO for a fall internship. ARTCO is a branding company that works with huge companies and artists to create innovative means of marketing or creating products. I love the place already based off that! If I get chosen (I'm so pumped!) I get to do mailings, callings, and research art galleries, architecture, basically pop culture. I am also uber excited about this place because the founder is Cary Leitzes who was the director of photograhy of Harper's Bazaar from 1999 to 2005 aka she's flipping AMAZING! She is also an NYU graduate! So wish me good luck chickens, if I get this it'll be a huge break! Also I'm on my own personal little mission but that's for me to know and for you to find out when I've had one too many gin and tonics. :)

Finally, it's time for my music recommendation of the week! Let me introduce you to Dan Black.
Dan Black is a Brit who is based in Paris, France. As many of you should know, I am a sucker for electro-pop. Dan Black mixes a lot of elements in his songs that all blend together perfectly. It's perfect for the summer. A good thing about Dan is the fact that his songs don't all sound the same. He can go from sampling some of the biggest songs of the decade, to putting in amazing synths for a nice dance number, to pulling out R&B skills to make slick ear candy. I think he's very good and you know my suggestions aren't bull. So take a listen to his song "Symphonies" (you'll hear a familiar sample or two) and "Alone". Till next time!




xoxo

sabroso!

It's been a hard week for this blogger. My grandmother sadly passed away on Monday. Monday afternoon was probably one of the most traumatizing experiences of my life. My grandmother, I have to say is one of the biggest inspirations in my life. For what I can remember a lot of my life has been filled with women. My dad is always out making sure we stayed afloat financially, and it's been that way since I was small. I've grown knowing strong women due to this and all of these women have been directly impacted by my grandmother. When my grandmother was younger she'd do anything in her power to make sure all 10 of her children were taken care of. She worked for other families and picked up jobs, that frankly people would not take. Not only did she provide for her family but she also took in complete strangers and raised them as if they were her own children. She was a kind, amazing, and poised woman. I credit her for making my mother who she is today. My mother is a tough cookie. She's the man of the household and holds us together. Like my grandmother, she takes care of us to the fullest extent she can. She also makes sure those around her are taken care of. There have been countless times where I remember my mother taking care of elderly people who have no immediate families left. My mother made herself their family until it was their time to depart the earth.

The strongest I've seen my grandmother has been the past two years though. She suffered a major stroke around the time of my sister's 15th birthday. Since then she's been at my home being taken care of my mother. My mother never showed despair, weakness, or sadness through those two years. My grandmother also held on for as long as she could. She suffered another major stroke in April which put her in a coma. She, thankfully, came out of it, but in doing so she initiate the final timer. She was in hospice care ever since then. Through those painful years she never once cursed anyone or anything. She was thankful for everything. I would always ask her how she felt and she'd always say "I'm feeling better". She believed firmly in Christianity and I am certain that she is somewhere in heaven along God's side. I was fortunate enough to say goodbye to her before she finally departed. It's been hard on my mother this week though. This is the weakest I've ever seen her, but I know that she'll rebound and be stronger than ever.

So, thanks to the 21st Century, I guess I'm saying my final good-bye to her here. I really did not do this for others to see, rather just to put it on an outlet. Abuela thank you for everything you've done for our family. Not only have you shown us how to be kind-hearted and accepting human beings you also showed us how to be strong. You showed us how to persevere no matter what came our way. You braved through so many storms and made it out in one piece all the time. You taught my mother everything she knows and you taught her character. I also ultimately believe that because of you my mother has reconciled so many of her beliefs to accept who I am. So Bebela I thank you because you have been a vital part of my life, consciously and subconsciously. Thank you for everything you've taught me and I'll see you again in another life.

who'd have known

i was out in nyc for pride but now i'm back in pa for a bit. anyways let's talk a bit personal before we go on to music shall we? Firstly, Pride was a lot of fun! I finally got to go out with everyone and I had a great time! Free drinks and food, I mean who can argue with that?! I also think I have a date coming up, like the first date since high school so this is a big deal. it's funny cause i really don't go after guys like this but i like him a lot. i've always said i don't have particular type and i just go with my gut (which needs to stop growing) feeling. i feel really good about this. the only issue is that i'm scared cause we'll i'm a bit rusty. i hope i don't fuck up or anything, haha, i'm so self-conscious with my actions around people i like. anyways i'll have my date upon my arrival to nyc in about two weeks? (literally just confirmed as i typed this. the world wide web huh?) anyways i'm UBER excited! OH and i get my new specx tomorrow! finally.

anyways onto the music. this week my recommendation will be the group known as miike snow. now here's a bit of background on miike snow. 2/3 of the group are very popular....behind the scenes. that's cause 2/3 of the group is super producer duo Bloodshy & Avant (Britney, Kylie, Madonna)! Now they've teamed up with their friend A. Wyatt and have created a sound that's nothing like their major hits. it is quite electronic but think of that mixed with the sounds of Vampire Weekend. I love it. It's my complete slow summer jam album. It has the electro sounds i love mixed with slow going songs and subtle beats. I'll post two songs and a remix to wet your appetite. oh also their sign is a jackalope (jack rabbit with antelope antlers) what's NOT to love?!





till the ciaoooo

xoxo